Fast Food Premiums

*UPDATE: Video fixed*

It's always interesting what you come across when backing up your computer. Some of those pesky files cluttering up your hard drive haven't been accessed in years and are just screaming for the attention they deserve, the attention that will inspire you to blog. Case in point:



*Keep in mind this was recorded at approximately 2 am while slightly intoxicated.

While the majority of you don't know the star of this video, a few of you do, which honestly makes the video just that much more amazing; however, lacking the pleasure of his acquaintance should make his words no less meaningful.

"McDonald's really needs to clean up their shit."

Prior to this occasion, and after my first grade birthday party with Ronald McDonald, I can't remember a single visit to McDonald's. I don't know whether it was that creepy "cat meat" scare that went around my small town in Ohio, or whether I just found that I enjoyed Wendy's and Burger King more, but whatever the reason my avoidance seems to be substantiated. Any more than ten minutes for a "sourdough bitch" is completely ridiculous.

"I pay a premium! I pay my $5.95 for my @#ck*ng sandwich!"

Does anyone else remember the days of the $.99 value menu? Or the Happy Meal that one could scrounge together nickels and pennies to pay for? I find it hard to believe that the quality of the freezer shipped meet and chemical injected lettuce and tomatoes has improved so much as to bring McDonald's prices up by the factor of inflation x 2.

All of these observations, of course, are not applicable before 11 am, at least on the west coast. The sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin?! The only acceptable substitute for the Dunkin' Donuts breakfast sandwich.

Note to all those in southern California with the cash to buy a franchise of any kind: Franchise a DUNKIN DONUTS and I'll say peace to McDonald's forever.