Assumed Ineptitude

I've never been considered inept at my job. No one has ever asked if I should be wearing a helmet, or tried to put me on the short bus home. In fact--I'd say my lasting relationships with EVERY employer I've had since I entered the work force at the age of 16 are a testament to the fact that I'm a good employee--intelligent, hard working, and humorous when appropriate. Rather than itemize this list, citing specific examples for each job since my beginnings as an Old Navy sales associate, let's just say that if my job history was an entity, it would be hallowed. Despite the glowing resume, my current employer (The Job From Hell) appears to hate me.

In certain respects, I agree with their current demeanor. In every new job there's a moderate amount of hazing, so to speak. There's a period of time where they have to figure out whether you can actually be trusted to do the job they hired you to do; However, after week one, I've usually managed to jump past this and move forward with a joke and a smile. Not at TJFH.

This frustrates me.

If an actor slips past me at the end of the night and I am physically unable to hand them a callsheet, I will let you know, or I will take care of it myself by calling them directly. I do in fact understand that, in order to show up the next day, they need a time. If an actor isn't ready the second you call for them, I am pushing them as much as they can be pushed without freaking them out and pissing them off seconds before they are to appear on camera. If there is a hair change between scenes, it is not an exact science, and assigning it a specific numerical time doesn't change that. The hair department will do their best to get it done as fast as they can, which is not aided my me bugging them every five seconds for an update--it's going to take as long as it's going to take. If an actor doesn't show up on time, I will let you know. Surprisingly I have a callsheet too. After they've already shown up and I've already announced it, don't ask me if they're here. You'll know if they aren't and I don't need to call them out on their 4 minutes of tardiness.

But...apparently my discomfort with assigning specific times to hair jobs, my calm demeanor when actors run a few minutes late, and my efforts to abide by the actor's requests and keep them in their trailer hanging out rather than on set in the 900 degree weather, and keeping them happy by staying out of their asses... all this makes the folks at TJFH "very uncomfortable."

Gee--I'm sorry I make you "uncomfortable" and I'm sorry you see nothing but my assumed ineptitude. For two weeks now I've been extremely bothered by it and felt like I've been doing something wrong. But now, my TJFH friends, I've decided that it's not me, and from now on--what you see is what you get. It has become somewhat entertaining to watch you scurry around and double check every task I'm assigned and every routine move that I make. So--if all you see is an imbecilic trainee with nothing to contribute, that's what you get. And while extreme boredom may become a regular part of my day, I think my feeble minded other half will learn to fill the time.

Only forty more days, TJFH and then maybe you'll get a top shelf trainee instead of just the wells. Or perhaps you'll think they suck too, which seems more likely.

Oh, The Hypocrisy of the PoPo

Today is Tuesday, a day of the week most decidedly better than the one prior as I'm actually getting payed as a temp, but not quite as awesome as the next when chances are I'll be getting payed as an unemployed, but highly valuable, member of society. While a day of work is what I've been longing for, and it puts me one day closer to the "ultimate fun" of the weekend, this particular Tuesday is doing absolutely nothing for me.

This Tuesday began with the overwhelming possibility of an exciting day of fast paced and fun filled work--work that, with any luck could turn in to more than just a single day. (I'm not saying I wanted the sinus infection that has forced out the regular receptionist to spread and develop in to something fatal, but... maybe a short hospital stay would have been nice.) Now, at 5:15 pm, it appears as if the sinus infection that was on the verge of plague has improved immensely with simple antibiotics, the overwhelming possibilities at this company have trounced me instead, and the ticket I got 2 months ago was today assigned a monetary value--an obscene, completely ridiculous, unaffordable-on-a-temp's-salary value.

Thank you, Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department for forcing me to pay for the accident that the Police Officer I saw just a few days ago talking on his cell phone for a full fifteen minutes must have caused. That totally works for me. In fact, next time you guys want to drive all over Los Angeles and completely ignore your uber important new legislation, I'll cover whatever happens, no problem. Oh yeah--and I know this new law covers texting and talking, but I don't believe donut fondling is in there. Just to be fair, I'll cover that too. I wouldn't want your department to suffer sans donut if one should happen to cause an accident. That would just be wrong...I mean you might get in shape. That's just plain unacceptable.

On that note, I have to run. It's almost 6 pm and I have to fill out my time card, and then go get ready for my other job. You know the one I'm talking about, I just "picked it up."

Oh yeah--one more thing. Since I think this "no talking while driving" legislation is so important and I've offered to cover it when you inevitably fuck up, you can't arrest me for my second job. Really, it's fine. For all I've done for you, you'll really be doing me a solid if you just keep driving.

Boo to hypocritical police officers with no sympathy. What, did I have a sign that said "NO JOB!! PICK ME!" on the roof of my car?

Now Change is Bad?

I don't get it America. I really don't.

While today my allegiances lie with President Obama, not too long ago I would've begged, stole, raped, and pillaged to get a female in to the presidency. I got shit from the left saying that Hilary wasn't progressive enough, didn't represent a necessary "new era" and rode too close to the middle. I got shit from the right because, quite simply, she has a vagina, and because her energy, health care, and international relations policies scared them with their liberal undertones.

Well, America... congratulations. You elected a man with a Scotchgarded suit. Nothing would stick, and his campaign avoided criticism because it was so progressive and new. Now you want to tear him down for his sweeping efforts to reform this country?!

"Is the president taking on too much? Give us your thoughts at CNN.com"

"In a time of such drastic economic crisis, the President needs to focus on the economy with laser-like focus, and leave the rest for a better time."

"New administrations moving too quickly have been known to make mistakes."

"The President believes that the health care system plays a very important role in the state of the economy, but is it too large an undertaking at this crucial junction?"

Crucial junction. Thank you.

To the Anderson Coopers, Brian Williams and Charles Gibsons of the world--stuff it. When you criticized Hilary and all but promoted a vote for Obama, you inspired a nation to vote for the most unlikely candidate for President in this nation's history. You pushed the masses to realize that a drastic "change" was necessary, and hinted that "change" could only come with the election of a young senator from Illinois. This young senator has assumed the most important office in the land with honor and complete regality, and with it, an even more daunting responsibility to this dwindling nation. He is now working hard, pushing against every political obstacle imaginable to, for the first time in my lifetime, make drastic revisions to this country's everyday operation. He appointed his former political enemy as his secretary of state, listens to the media criticize his progressive wife for having the gall to show her arms in her First Family portrait, and laughs off the further waste of television's valuable digital spectrum addressing his graying hair, all while fighting opposition with every attempted initiative--initiatives to achieve the drastic reform we put on his shoulders.

This is in fact a crucial junction--two words that seem to have become the chosen phrase in the media. Not in my lifetime, or arguably the lifetime of my parents, has there been a time so drastically calling for immediate action. How does a voting populous so adamant about change suddenly seem to advocate for inaction?

Questioning our leaders is our right and our duty, but seriously? Cut the one man doing anything about our situation a break.