Monopolistic Anarchy

I understand corporate survival strategy and the desire to vertically integrate. I also understand the desire to take over the world. Some basic services are regulated by the government and thought to be better outside of a market economy, and some are not. One company can't own broadcast television stations that reach more than 35% of the national broadcast television audience, but one company can reach all those same people with 9000 owned cable channels. I don't really have a position other than to say, in my experience, monopolies really suck for the consumer.

Yesterday, per the request of my boss, I left the office for lunch. I returned home where a gourmet hot pocket was waiting for me. My building excitement for this hot pocket, while sad, was just the beginning of my troubles.

My apartment door had a little white card shoved in the door jam. It was from the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. Apparently I hadn't paid my electricity bill in about 9 months and they had "discontinued service." Right.

I don't pay my electricity bill.

I live in what's called a "corporate suite." Before you get all excited, trust me, it's less glamorous than it sounds. Basically all is included--utilities, rent, furniture, etc. And it's all part of my job's compensation.

Apparently they failed to mention I wouldn't be compensated for the painful situations my compensation creates. I called my leasing agent--"I'll take care of it."

Flash ahead five hours as I'm returning home from work. Though slightly annoyed, I'm ready for that hot pocket I couldn't have at lunch and my DVR that is just bursting with amazing programming.

Still no power.

Long story short, all my food spoiled, I discovered that, while the Department of Water and Power can turn off your power when you're not home, they can't turn it on "for safety reasons," and when they tell you they'll be there that evening, they really mean that you're going to have to call back five more times before they'll tell you someone will be there in fifteen minutes and then actually show up the next day only after you've attempted to shower in the pitch black. Oh, and reimbursement for my spoiled food? Not so much.

One would also think the Department of Water and Power would send some delinquency notifications before banishing me back to the stone ages, right? Wrong. Consider highly influential monopoly number two--the US Postal Service.

I have lived in my current apartment for about nine months. In that time I have become friends with my mail man. He's a cute little Asian man who always seems to have a quiet little smile brought on by perfect contentment with his job and his schedule. After running in to him in the mail room several times and smiling back at him I finally introduced myself and shook his hand. Since that time I have stopped receiving other people's mail, and got a special mail man's "Happy Birthday" when he noticed the pile of greeting cards I received.

So--because I befriended the mail man, I didn't get the delinquency notices that weren't even for me, read for four hours by candlelight, couldn't eat my damn hot pocket, was rendered speechless when I realized I couldn't threaten to take my business elsewhere, which then lead me to an epiphany. I suddenly realized that "the customer is always right" is nowhere near true.

More accurately, "the customer, acting as a consumer in a market economy, while not always right, will be generally satisfied as businesses compete for their patronage. Customers of government regulated corporations and service providers, while sometimes satisfied, are really never right or wrong--they're just there."