Modest Self Consciousness

Imagine for a moment that this is you, basking in the sun aside the lapping waves of the Mandalay Bay Resort wave pool. You're enjoying the company of the friend laying next to you, casually reading a book through rose-colored sunglasses as the nine layers of sunscreen you've applied attempt to prevent the harsh Los Vegas sun from giving you skin cancer. Then, without any warning, as though all of your sun protection efforts were in vain...


...you're blinded.

This isn't the best photograph as it took quite some time to restore vision to my eyes and find my camera phone--perhaps for the best. I would hate to instill nausea amongst my readers. In case you can't tell, he's wearing the smallest speedo I've ever seen.

The speedo alone is unacceptable. Combine this man's poor pool attire choice with the fact that he wore no additional clothing for the rather lengthy walk from his hotel room (a walk which involves an elevator, a substantial chunk of the casino floor, a winding sidewalk littered with resort guests, and an early morning line for the pool), pranced around the wave pool, and made no effort to pretend he was there to do laps--and you have a completely offensive scenario.

Big boo to speedos, and an even BIGGER boo to those of us that lack inhibition and an appropriate amount of self-consciousness.